My Dearly Beloved Children,
I have wanted to write to you for such a very long time now but have always put it off for another time. Tonight, as I lay in bed without sleep coming, I thought I would begin. The world we live in has always seemed like such a good world to me; so full of promise, goodness and opportunity. Lately this all seems changed. People are different, their sense of values so changed, the promise of golden tomorrows seems fused into waiting for certain doom.
I don't want these thoughts of mine to sound oppressive but I toss and turn every night and can't change my mind about how dark our destiny seems to be. I don't know why it has to be this way, certainly this can be a world of goodness, charity and joy for all. But certain powers don't want it so. They are filled with greed and hate as so many conquerors of the past.
Our headlines scream of potential wars, and the communist threat is everywhere. You read of spies and skirmishes; of threats and turmoil. And all over the civilized world people lift up their thoughts to God and ask, "WHY?" Why can't they live and let live? Why do I freeze with fear at the thought of a Russian or Chinese bomb coming down on us? Must this be? Why must my children suffer at the hands of these madmen? They talk about mock air raid drills, about building fallout shelters, about all these things as though it is an inevitability. If this is so, and ones such as I cannot afford these fallout shelters, must I idly stand by and be blown to bits or even know the horrible moment of panic when a siren might sound?
I look for God. In my prayers every night I plead with Him, "Please Dear Lord, don't let it happen. Bless my beloved family, keep them safe from harm." But I somehow don't feel I am getting through. I have wanted to know our Lord so much better and I want to go speak with a Rabbi soon and try to free myself of some puzzles in my mind.
I know there is a God and He is good. Suddenly I see those millions of innocent Jews dying in crematoriums and gas chambers, and knowing they must have screamed to God for help. Why were they allowed to die? My only answer to this is God is everlasting.
Life on Earth is so short - the years go by like a dream. I awaken each morning and think, "Here is another day, how fast the others went by." From every evil perhaps some good comes. The madman Hitler was defeated and from the memories of those poor souls arose a wonderful State of Israel. Perhaps it couldn't happen any other way.
There is so much I want to do yet and see of you and your future children. But I have such fears. Your father is in the active Army Reserves. He enjoys it and it fulfills a grand sense of duty and patriotism to him. There are not too many like him. I feel if more men feel the way he did, America would not feel any loss of prestige or power to any country. He is fearless and he is dedicated.
Patriotism seems low. People don't seem to have that spark of fire we had not too many years ago. I would like to see more of this. It seems so necessary and so missing.
I don't know what I want out of life exactly. I wanted love, marriage and children and these I got in abundance. My marriage is good and it gets better with every year. And you, my darling beloved, are everything a mother could wish for. I adore you. We have good times together and I try the best I know how to be a good mother to you.
I am only worried of the future. I want to see you all grow up, be happy, make me proud, raise fine families and respect your parents.
I pray for you by the only way I know. I talk to God and I know He shall hear me.