|Musings From Mother
March 5, 1991
There are things to say. I spend my spare time writing love songs
and love letters to my children. I miss them terribly. The mere
mention of their names wound me. But space of miles cannot cast
me out of their lives, for our love for each other clears all storm
warnings in the danger zones of my memories.
Las Vegas is sometimes a stranger, sometimes a trespasser, yet I
am adrift in its fascination, and I call it home.
I have always had elaborate plans to start journals. I read
beautiful books and compose wonderful thoughts, then put them into
feeble writings, and the voices tell me to go, go on.
I begin to write seriously, only to find the urgings diminishing
and it is once again a fruitless effort.
I feel mistuned to progress, and so I dabble, but only to my beloveds.
Extraordinary things have happened to my family. My faith has been
tested a million times, and I have tested every emotion imaginable.
Someday I shall tell all. I'm sure I contain some strengths even
I cannot imagine. I am a survivor.
|Whispers In The Wind
In memory of Jimmy
I wish for yesterdays moments and words then left unsaid
Too late to capture dreams now, long since gone and dead
Why didn't I tell him often of how very much he meant?
Now I have such sad regrets and much time to repent
His love was very tender, his feelings went so deep
It never dawned on me how soon I would cry and weep
We were two by two together, now it's hard to be just one
I couldn't know how quickly his life would be undone
So now at day or night I speak, and to him I reveal
My love, my passions for him, exactly how I feel
I know somewhere he hears me, and understands at best
With love as strong as we had, our marriage passed God's test.
A tape recorder in my hand,
My grandchildrens' request,
"Please sift through all the times you can
And pick out which were best."
Do I speak of younger years;
How difficult they were!
Should I explain the old fears
That still constantly occur?
No! they'll find out on their own
And do the best they know
For as they flourish and are grown
Life's joys will be the show.
So listen kids, just trust your heart;
Replace frowns with some smiles.
Bend, and be a special part
Of life's long, rugged miles.
Then when you reach my age
These words will stand alone.
Your grandma helped to turn a page
Now teach them to your own!
What we have is quite unique
A grandson and a grandma "freak"
No distance can obstruct the miles
That melt away with all your smiles
I think about you every day
And anytime the slots I play
When those 3 bars come up in place
I see you and your handsome face
I hope to see you soon in May
And on that bright & cheery day
I'll really find out what true bliss is
When I cover your face with kisses.
|Happy Birthday - Thirty Four
Thirty Four! No, it can't be!
(I alone feel forty-three)
Thirty Four! Oh, no, not you!
When did this year come so true?
Thirty-Four! Please, turn the page,
Backwards to another age -
You were quiet, blonde and sweet,
Dressed in ribbons, bows so neat -
Loving, caring, never mean,
Brightening up the daily scene -
Thirty-Four! Oh, well, no change,
Just the time 'slot' rearranged -
Still the same love stored inside,
And some deep hurts rectified -
You'll get better every year,
Always lovelier; more mature -
And my pride and love for you,
Will always help to see you through.
Happy Birthday -
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